

Discover more from A Bear on a Wire
There’s been a lot of talk about something called “friendships” going around lately. They seem to be all the rage, but what are they, really? How do they work? To many of us, they’ve remained something of a mystery. Until now.
Ok, I’ll stop doing this bit where I pretend to be a 60 Minutes anchor explaining something that doesn’t really need an explanation. HOWEVER, I do think that adult friendships ARE kind of mysterious sometimes. I also think they are so worth pursuing and maintaining, despite the aforementioned mysteriousness! And, I think that knowing where to start can be a little daunting. UNTIL NOW!
You asked for it! So, back by popular demand, it’s an old-fashioned BPIDHB Group Chat Comment Section Mixer. A Group Chat Chateau!
If you are looking to join a group chat, maybe because you’ve never tried it, maybe because you have and your chat has sort of fizzled or maybe you’re a member of a healthy chat, but feel like your life has room for a fresh one, this is the place!
There are no rules, really, but this is my advice. Leave a comment below with your name, your general location if you feel comfortable sharing that information, your career/family/lifestyle info if that’s important to you, plus a couple/few things you’re really interested in or passionate about that you’d love to gab about with some new friends.
Once you’ve done that, start reading the other comments and introduce yourself to some other Besties with whom you have some stuff in common. OR, introduce yourself to some other Besties with whom you have zero in common, but would like to learn a little bit about that which they proclaimed their passions. Not every person I’m in a group chat with is a Prince-freak, but they let me bring my personal Prince-freakishness to the party, y’know?
Once you have 3 or 4 or 7 people in the comments whose vibes jibe, you can mutually to take it to the next level. Maybe you all decide to meet in the DMs over on Instagram or FB. Maybe you exchange emails. One of my group chats uses the Signal app for some reason, but it’s not hard to use, so I go along with it! But, once you all feel secure and safe with each other, maybe you exchange phone numbers and make it a real, official, traditional group chat where you simply text each other & gently ridicule the person who has an android phone & turns your chat bubbles from blue to green.
I know it can be scary, to just…ask someone to like you. And, it might not work out. That’s just the truth. But, it might. And the only way it even has a chance of working out is if you can summon the bravery to say “Hi, I see you. Do you see me too?” to at least a few folks. Low risk, high reward.
All that we ask is that you be kind and respectful to each other. If you see someone’s comment that isn’t getting a lot of play, maybe ask if they’d like to join a group you’ve already got simmering? It kinda works exactly like high school lunch tables, except with the benefit of us all having lived through high school lunch tables & knowing how important it is to make room for someone who could use a place to sit.
We’ve had a lot of success with this in the past. And we’re so proud of some of the now years-long friendships we’ve had a hand in encouraging. This is the first time we’re trying it on Substack, so fingers crossed it launches dozens of group chats and pal-pairings that will live on for years to come.
Group Chat Chateau!
I am never on substack and saw this today! I know this is about 5 months later but maybe someone will see this! I'm Sarah, live in NYC, 41, live with husband and our almost 4 year old guy. I have a boring (but necessary) corporate job and still feel like I'm finding myself? Hah! Pandemic did a number on me in terms of throwing me way out of a routine, have stuck to staying at home a lot but trying to get back out and socialize! A lot of friends left during pandemic and even before. Anyway, I like seeing shows (of truly any type) love a museum, stand up, karaoke, fashion, food, movies etc etc If this makes it way to Anyone, I'm DTF. Down to friend. Lolz
Hi all. Hope you’re doing well, I’m doing my best -- thank you B & C for this community!!
Reaching out, looking for friends in Barcelona!! I’m moving next month from San Francisco; bringing-along 2 dogs, 1 partner and a container full of stuff. I’m 51 years, just semi-retired 😳 from Tech industry. I’m into my adult-age daughter (she’s staying in USA 😭); funny, smart and kind humans as well as food, wine & filthy martinis, feminist art, books, music, travel, new experiences. Starting the next chapter and looking for friends to enjoy it!
XO, Jenn