hot butts!

AKA Pt. 1 of Civil Disobedience in DC for Bodily Autonomy.

Jul 06, 2022

There was an informational zoom call a few days before the planned action in DC and as they went through arrest procedures and how to keep yourself safe, what phone numbers to write on your arm, etc…. honestly, my only concern was about burned butts. so, when it came time for questions, I clicked the little raise hand emoji and waited to be called on by Nelini Stamp, who was one of the organizers with Working Families and who would be leading the march and protest.

“Hi yeah! hi. So…For the people sitting down, like, if we DO sit down, how are- it’s just, I’m from Arizona and I think it’s going to be in the 90s on Thursday and I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT OUR BUTTS BEING BURNED.”

I could see other people on the zoom laughing with their mics off. A friend of mine who was on the call texted me, “i love you.”1

But this was a legitimate concern. And one reason I really did not think I would be one of the people sitting down and blocking a street outside of the Capital building in protest of the supreme court’s decision. Nelini kindly said she understood and it was a good point- there would be cardboard and it was her understanding there might be yoga mats. Yoga mats could work.

I jumped back in, “Also! And I’m just thinking out loud here… but maybe someone should bring some oven mitts?? You know, like the flat square ones??”

Nelini half smiled, “Yeah! Sure- that’s a great idea. Thank you, Busy! Ok- so…”

As she returned to wrapping up the real business of the call, I couldn’t stop thinking about how hot the asphalt might be.

It didn’t really matter for me personally though since I wasn’t planning to get arrested. I really wasn’t. Because, for one, my butt is very sensitive- to heat and cold.

Also, sitting down for long periods of time is hard for me- you saw me on the Seth Meyers show! I haven’t sat still a day in my life.

ALSO…It was Marc’s birthday the next day and Cricket’s the day after and like…who has the time to get arrested? What if they decide to hold me for 24 hours? (they could- that was a possibility, according to the call) I can’t be held for that long- how would I make Cricket’s birthday cake she requested shaped like that weird emoji that looks like a devil mask?! 2

Finally and maybe the most important reason was, my one good friend who was going, Sarah Sophie Flicker, COULDN’T get arrested because she had to be back in New York by 6pm for childcare (BEING A PROTESTING MOM, AMIRIGHT?) and who TF wants to get arrested for the first time by themselves?? NOT THIS GIRL!

Sarah Sophie and her friend Meredith were going down the night before for an event but I decided would be easier if I just took the train down to DC from Penn station at 6am and then took the train back with them at like 3:00pm- I could participate in the march and then when those who were willing to be arrested (you know- to send a message to lawmakers that we’re willing to risk everything to ensure that people everywhere have the right to our own bodies) went to block the streets and sit down, I would just scoot off and provide moral support from the sides with the others and then go catch the train back. Easy.

I woke up late at 5:15am. I showered fast. I remembered to put my diva cup in (OBVIOUSLY I had my period and it was the heaviest day and we were all to wear white!) and take my mood pills. I forgot to remove all my weed from my purse(oops!). I called an Uber to Penn station while I shoved multiple white clothing items FOR OUTFIT CHANGES in a canvas GIRLS5EVA bag, including my amazing I WILL AID AND ABET ABOTION t-shirt3- a gift from my friends at Shout Your Abortion (you can buy it on their site HERE: t-shirt! or make your own- just send the message!)

I looked at the clock. 5:43. Fuck me. I had no time to make my pour over coffee. I had no time at all. It would be a miracle if I got on the damn train. I kissed Gina and ran out the door. The Uber dropped me off at 5:55- I ran down to the platform and walked on to the train with one minute to spare.

I sat with Caren Sprech from Planned Parenthood on the train down4. Caren is a dynamic woman who’s been committed to the changing our cultural narrative around abortion through storytelling-specifically Hollywood. Here’s a really fantastic article about Caren from 2019 : Planned Parenthood's Secret Weapon

We chatted a bit- she’s been non-stop since the decision went down, hopping from call to zoom to call with actors and directors and writers and producers all desperately wanting to know WHAT THE FUCK THEY CAN DO. She looked at me over her mask and said, “You know there have been a few of you that I know I can call and you’ll always show up but it’s been hard the past few years. But now everyone wants to help and so what? I have to try to help them all figure out how. But I swear I almost texted you at 3am after I finished my work to tell you there was no way I was coming down today. But then I thought, you know what? I have to go with her.”

I first met Caren years ago at a private panel I was invited to by my good friend Jenni Konner. It was several show runners talking with Caren about how writers and show runners can be more participatory in telling the kinds of abortion, sexual health and reproductive stories that are not only factually correct, but also reflective of a real experience- and doesn’t- you know DRAMATIZE a legitimate medical procedure. This was years and years before Busy Tonight was even a thought. Years before Instagram Stories. Before that panel, I didn’t know if talking about my abortion was ever something I would do publicly for many reasons, including dealing with “backlash”(which, TURNS OUT, is total bullshit and something that is used to scare us from speaking our truth, BTW). I think I was one of only a few “actors for hire” at the panel but obviously it had a huge impact on me.

Anyway. Caren may have been exhausted but she was fantastic seat mate. I’ve worked closely with her over the last several years, obviously. She has a brain and energy that never stops. She told me Alexis McGill Johnson(the bad ass president of Planned Parenthood) wasn’t going to make it to DC because she needed to be at EssenceFest for a talk. I was a little suprised when Caren told me AMG wasn’t going to be at the march- this was the first act of civil disobedience that Planned Parenthood had ever participated in. It felt like a historic moment- But also, I imagined that she had four thousand other things she needed to attend to this week of all weeks, including flying to ATL and DC just wasn’t possible. Caren introduced me to a woman named Rachel on the train who also worked for PP. We all discussed what it might be like, how many people were showing up, how many people would be willing to sit in the street. The three of us discussed all the reasons why we were not going to be able to participate in the main event of GETTING ARRESTED. Rachel also is a mom and needed to be back in Jersey early for dinner, bedtime etc…5

After we got off the train and I got a good coffee from Blue Bottle (no shade to the train coffee but Amtrack really needs to get some MILK ALTERNATIVES on board), Caren and I walked from the station to the Lutheran Church of the Reformation- the official meeting place. I was already sweating and ready for an outfit change. The church was packed with people out front and inside already- handing out t-shirts and scarfs that said WE WON’T BACK DOWN. There were tons of different organizations showing up with their leaders and supporters- we were early and so we went downstairs to the special VIP room. On our way, I grabbed a bagel and an electrolyte packet from the medic table to put in my water-YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT ELECTROLYTES.

After the bagel and the electrolyte score, Caren and I found a secret private bathroom where I could pee and change (this is always SUPER important at large gatherings or events, and another one of my secret talents-I’m GREAT at finding secret bathrooms).

Finally, we made our way into the designated VIP room where we were immediately greeted by a soothing and familiar voice,

“SURPRISE! I changed my schedule around. I obviously had to be here. Are you going to get arrested with me, Busy?”.

Alexis McGill Johnson, the fearless leader of Planned Parenthood, looking resplendent and impossibly chic in her all white ensemble, walked over to greet us as she carefully tied a green bandana around her hair (the woman is never not multitasking).

We hugged hello and I immediately knew OF COURSE YES OBVIOUSLY I would be getting arrested… 6

PART 2 IN WHICH MY BUTT GETS HOT WILL BE COMING TO YOU SHORTLY….