This week, Busy gives us an update on Birdie’s medical scare and talks about how her own ENT once saved her from a potentially brain-eating infection. She and Caissie make a list of essentials they’d want someone to bring them if they had to stay in a hospital. They discuss the three O’s of the week in Hollywood, the Oscars, the outfits and the Ozempic. Busy has rejoined Raya but isn’t sure it’s what she wants. She does, however, get really frank about what she does want. They discuss the famous thought experiment, The Trolley Problem, and wonder what they would do if the switch was in their hands.
CW: Weight, weight loss, disordered eating
Listen HERE! And, as always, if you have already listened, please consider this thread your official comments section. I’ll definitely be lurking between loads of laundry, so say hi!
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Also, there are seizures where you don’t faint and don’t shake and most aren’t dramatic like many people think they are. A friend’s kid has a seizure disorder and he loses time and isn’t aware, but nobody else would know he is having them! Also POTS can look like something seizure like.
I had an episode that totally freaked me out -I didn’t know how I got from one spot to the next in target (probably ten seconds missing) not like on my phone distracted, but here’s the thing, most friends said no worries which is what I wanted to hear, but I have a female dr and she’s a fearful one and really this is weird but what I probably needed was an arrogant old school dismissive dr who gave me that nothing to see here vibe or ordered the necessary tests with confidence. I wanted that- I didn’t want her to want me to have CT scan and neurologist and and and but have me decide if all which made me more nervous she wasn’t in charge- she was asking me am I safe to drive- the fear of my Dr doesn’t help me!
Capable hands and elderly Drs is what I want! Makes me sound old because it does feel like having baby Drs.
I think there is a piece of the Ozempic conversation that was missing from the pod in the few times that it’s come up...Caissie, you’re on the right track...But the thing that we need to be moving towards in this conversation around fatness and anti-fat bias- is the concept of fat liberation. We fat folks owe no one health, nor do we need to perform “thinness” to have value in society. We need to be dismantling the systems that are in place that make people feel that they must shrink their bodies to have worth in society. People should absolutely have bodily autonomy, which means if they want to lose weight, go for it. But, I think that folks need to examine the reasons why they feel like they need to lose weight in the first place.
Agree, but we also need to stop attacking people whose bodies change, especially when we are basing that attack on an assumption we are making about them, because it is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS how or why their body has changed. People whose bodies change in either direction are none of anyone's concern, nor are they letting anyone down.
Also, in fat liberation circles, the worse ob*se and ob*sity are considered problematic...it’s a word used by the medical establishment to pathologize fat bodies.
I also still have my baby blanket - it is a tangled mess but I haven't slept without it ever except when it was left in the hospital in 2nd grade, and when it found itself in my dry cleaning bag in 2010 and the cleaners thought it was a rag. Every time my housekeeper comes she takes the blanket from my bed and puts it into the dog bed LOL. I'm not ashamed.
The rock discussion at very end of pod is priceless. If you haven’t finished go back and listen! While hiking today I ate a small pebble sandwich after dropping my PBJ, which brought it all back. 😂
I was suddenly in the hospital last fall and surprisingly had a charger and cord, but would have given anything for a brush and a lip balm. A friend came to the rescue with both!
Snowfall is amazing!!! I so agree with you Caissie. Obsessed with that show.
I would be exactly where Busy is if I found myself single. I’ve never been single. I found the love of my life with my second husband. I do have quite a few friends online dating and from what I understand from their experiences it takes a leap, when you are ready, then you become familiar and you make your own rules and boundaries.
Hospital bag: aquafor. My lips always get super dry and chapped in the hospital and I hate that feeling.
I have this idea in my head that the whole Ozempic controversy is just a clever bit of deflection created by the drug companies. They created a new drug that could help a lot of people. However, it's expensive as hell. If you don't have insurance it's around $1000 per month. If you have insurance it's still over $200 per month. So how do we keep people from being pissed off that it's so expensive? Easy. Just blame the celebrities for using it all up to lose weight so that it's not available for the people who need it. Then the problem isn't that it's too expensive for the people that need it it's that the famous people are using it all up and the drug companies are in the clear. Anyway, that's my vote. I've generally found that is something doesn't look right, the easiest path to the truth is to follow the money. Like it or not, you'll generally find out what is really going on.
Now that the unpleasantness is out of my system, I have to say once again you two made me smile. I too have my baby blanket. It's actually in pretty good shape and is in my closet. There are also 2 of my onesies and some kind of bandage/dressing that back when I was born the hospitals gave parents to cover the babies belly button until everything healed up umbilical cord-wise.
I also have a Raggedy Ann and Andy that my mom made for me in the early 1980s when my parents were working on me to get married and have kids. Here's the deal. I come from a modest background. Mom and dad were laser focused on me getting through college. So as I grew up, they did a lot of work discouraging me from having relationships as these were viewed as distractions. But once I graduated from college, got a job and moved into my own place, priorities changed and they started campaigning for me to marry and start on grandkids. The problem with this plan is that by that time, I'd gotten used to living alone and had no interest. Sure I dated now and then but it just never took, mostly because I never worked at it that hard. I was happy and that was that. It's a weird thing. Over the years there have been lots of people working on getting me married and it's causes some strains to friendships because it never took. I've always been happy being alone. That's not to say that if the right person came along I wouldn't bite, it's just I'm happy not making a lot of effort to find them. It's a weird thing when you choose to have a lifestyle like mine. People look at is as unusual and always seem to ask if I regret not getting married and having kids. I always answer that there's nothing to regret. I acknowledge that my life would be different, but that's all I can say. Don't know if it would be better or worse, just different. But enough of all of this.
Caissie and Busy, I'll post a picture of my baby blanket on Twitter later today or tomorrow. Also my Raggedy Ann and Andy. Keep doing your best, everyone.
As an elder millennial who has been single for years and has created then deactivated then reactivated then deactivated an online dating profile because she DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS, I relate to this so much! I think I've decided to try in person speed dating events. 😐 Or, I've at least decided to consider in person speed dating events. Lol. I'm not trying to judge relationship compatibility based on a 0.05 second judgment of some bullshit sales pitch and pics!
Just started listening to the pod but have read about the essentials you’d want to have in hospital. As someone who is currently in hospital (I’m ok.. I think.. just a little scare with a pain in my chest. Tests have ruled out a lot, just one final check and hopefully I’m outa here!!)
My list (not having any of these currently myself) would be; clean underwear, hairband, sweatpants, oversized t-shirt, my glasses 🤣, a book, earphones/headphones, sanitary products, toiletries, toothbrush and a pillow.. I could go on but I’m conscious that this is an essentials list. And thankfully .. don’t ask me why.. the one thing I actually thought to bring with me was a phone charger.
Wish I had my headphones with me to listen to the rest of the pod as I’m not in a single room.
(Not here for the sympathy btw I just thought I’d share my essentials list considering the circumstances) xx
And yet, sympathy you shall get! You poor thing, stuck in the hospital with no headphones. Fingers crossed that last test is all clear & they spring ya soon!
Can we start an oatmeal thread? Lol What does everyone put on their oatmeal? I like putting fruit, granola or a little bit of brown sugar on it. A couple weeks ago, I put some of those coffee flavoring syrups (caramel) in my oatmeal and it was amazing.
I make oat milk overnight oats that has some vanilla and maple syrup for flavour but love to add a handful of a trail mix but also love toasted coconut with raspberries.
Peanut butter!! I love adding a spoonful to really hot oatmeal so it gets all melty. It's the perfect sweet/salty addition and you get some bonus protein!
I love putting almonds, flax, dried cranberries, and a little dab of agave with my oatmeal! - but I like putting the dried cranberries in before adding the hot water, because then they sort of re-hydrate a little and create a really pleasing texture.
I found this "article" with adorable pics of Busy & Michelle at premieres and award shows. So much love between these two. Busy, please tell us which polka dot dress it was that got stained on the red carpet, the halter neck one or the strapless one?
and IMHO that champagne carpet looked like a dirty dorm room carpet and I LOVE MINDY, but yes, three dresses is TOO MANY unless you're nominated for best actress?
Congratulations! One thing that was in my hospital bag that helped a lot was a notebook and some pens. That way I could right down any questions I had or write down any tidbit of info I wanted to remember. I was so glad I had it.
Another hospital go bag requirement... a device charger with the longest cord available. The plugs are never where you want them to be and normal charging cables are not long enough!!
I’ve been behind on the pod but am almost caught up and had to jump in on the Hospital Go Bag. We call it the HGB - as someone who’s spent too much time in hospitals the last few years I am the go to call for friends (and friends of friends) who unexpectedly get stuck with a long hospital stay. I tell everyone to bring socks and some kind of make up remover wipes that may be terrible for the environment but come in real clutch when you can’t take any kind of showers. And cardigans! Preferably that match your socks! Everyone’s list is a little different but it’s always smart to get ideas. And a root bear - brilliant addition. 🙌
As someone who didn’t finish the good place but knew the trolley episode I was all up in the Internet reading about the end of the show. 🥹
Caissie, your comments about deciding when to stop grief (or any life circumstance) take you way … (I hope I’m rephrasing that okay) really hit. Goddamn life is a difficult (trolley) ride sometimes.
Dating post-divorce in a jooooouuuurney, especially when decades have gone by since you’ve dated. It’s fine to test the waters and retreat over and over and feel unsure and wonder wtf you’re doing.
I was on dating sites for a year and never talked to anyone. I kept deleting it then reactivating. I finally got to the point where I started talking to people and going on dates. While it was a bit emotionally wild at first, I figured it out. I also had no expectations of finding a life partner, which really helped lessen the stakes and got me to a place where I could just enjoy myself.
OMG that trolley picture! Serious flashbacks. As I was listening this morning to the concierge doctor conversation I was texting my concierge pediatrician. My son has ongoing, ambiguous, seemingly unrelated symptoms and they are finally getting addressed. It was heart breaking to watch him struggle and feel like there was nowhere I could go where we would be listened to. Switching to this doc has given me hope that my son may finally be able to feel better. Worth every fucking penny that I am privileged to have.
I could totally be wrong, but I think Emily bb told her Monte Carlo gall bladder story on We’re No Doctors. That might be why Caissie doesn’t exactly remember the details, and why Busy thinks she told it before!
Cannot emphasize enough how much I love the reframing of the rock in the oatmeal as a MIRACLE LOL. Profound. And also v silly. My two fav things!!
Also, there are seizures where you don’t faint and don’t shake and most aren’t dramatic like many people think they are. A friend’s kid has a seizure disorder and he loses time and isn’t aware, but nobody else would know he is having them! Also POTS can look like something seizure like.
I had an episode that totally freaked me out -I didn’t know how I got from one spot to the next in target (probably ten seconds missing) not like on my phone distracted, but here’s the thing, most friends said no worries which is what I wanted to hear, but I have a female dr and she’s a fearful one and really this is weird but what I probably needed was an arrogant old school dismissive dr who gave me that nothing to see here vibe or ordered the necessary tests with confidence. I wanted that- I didn’t want her to want me to have CT scan and neurologist and and and but have me decide if all which made me more nervous she wasn’t in charge- she was asking me am I safe to drive- the fear of my Dr doesn’t help me!
Capable hands and elderly Drs is what I want! Makes me sound old because it does feel like having baby Drs.
More on that from Aubrey Gordon
https://www.instagram.com/p/CNF_NEcrQqd/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
I think there is a piece of the Ozempic conversation that was missing from the pod in the few times that it’s come up...Caissie, you’re on the right track...But the thing that we need to be moving towards in this conversation around fatness and anti-fat bias- is the concept of fat liberation. We fat folks owe no one health, nor do we need to perform “thinness” to have value in society. We need to be dismantling the systems that are in place that make people feel that they must shrink their bodies to have worth in society. People should absolutely have bodily autonomy, which means if they want to lose weight, go for it. But, I think that folks need to examine the reasons why they feel like they need to lose weight in the first place.
Agree, but we also need to stop attacking people whose bodies change, especially when we are basing that attack on an assumption we are making about them, because it is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS how or why their body has changed. People whose bodies change in either direction are none of anyone's concern, nor are they letting anyone down.
100% agree with you there.
Also, in fat liberation circles, the worse ob*se and ob*sity are considered problematic...it’s a word used by the medical establishment to pathologize fat bodies.
I also still have my baby blanket - it is a tangled mess but I haven't slept without it ever except when it was left in the hospital in 2nd grade, and when it found itself in my dry cleaning bag in 2010 and the cleaners thought it was a rag. Every time my housekeeper comes she takes the blanket from my bed and puts it into the dog bed LOL. I'm not ashamed.
The rock discussion at very end of pod is priceless. If you haven’t finished go back and listen! While hiking today I ate a small pebble sandwich after dropping my PBJ, which brought it all back. 😂
I was suddenly in the hospital last fall and surprisingly had a charger and cord, but would have given anything for a brush and a lip balm. A friend came to the rescue with both!
Snowfall is amazing!!! I so agree with you Caissie. Obsessed with that show.
I would be exactly where Busy is if I found myself single. I’ve never been single. I found the love of my life with my second husband. I do have quite a few friends online dating and from what I understand from their experiences it takes a leap, when you are ready, then you become familiar and you make your own rules and boundaries.
Hospital bag: aquafor. My lips always get super dry and chapped in the hospital and I hate that feeling.
Great pod episode guys! 💕
I have this idea in my head that the whole Ozempic controversy is just a clever bit of deflection created by the drug companies. They created a new drug that could help a lot of people. However, it's expensive as hell. If you don't have insurance it's around $1000 per month. If you have insurance it's still over $200 per month. So how do we keep people from being pissed off that it's so expensive? Easy. Just blame the celebrities for using it all up to lose weight so that it's not available for the people who need it. Then the problem isn't that it's too expensive for the people that need it it's that the famous people are using it all up and the drug companies are in the clear. Anyway, that's my vote. I've generally found that is something doesn't look right, the easiest path to the truth is to follow the money. Like it or not, you'll generally find out what is really going on.
Now that the unpleasantness is out of my system, I have to say once again you two made me smile. I too have my baby blanket. It's actually in pretty good shape and is in my closet. There are also 2 of my onesies and some kind of bandage/dressing that back when I was born the hospitals gave parents to cover the babies belly button until everything healed up umbilical cord-wise.
I also have a Raggedy Ann and Andy that my mom made for me in the early 1980s when my parents were working on me to get married and have kids. Here's the deal. I come from a modest background. Mom and dad were laser focused on me getting through college. So as I grew up, they did a lot of work discouraging me from having relationships as these were viewed as distractions. But once I graduated from college, got a job and moved into my own place, priorities changed and they started campaigning for me to marry and start on grandkids. The problem with this plan is that by that time, I'd gotten used to living alone and had no interest. Sure I dated now and then but it just never took, mostly because I never worked at it that hard. I was happy and that was that. It's a weird thing. Over the years there have been lots of people working on getting me married and it's causes some strains to friendships because it never took. I've always been happy being alone. That's not to say that if the right person came along I wouldn't bite, it's just I'm happy not making a lot of effort to find them. It's a weird thing when you choose to have a lifestyle like mine. People look at is as unusual and always seem to ask if I regret not getting married and having kids. I always answer that there's nothing to regret. I acknowledge that my life would be different, but that's all I can say. Don't know if it would be better or worse, just different. But enough of all of this.
Caissie and Busy, I'll post a picture of my baby blanket on Twitter later today or tomorrow. Also my Raggedy Ann and Andy. Keep doing your best, everyone.
I love that you still have your baby blanket & other items, Herman! 💜
As an elder millennial who has been single for years and has created then deactivated then reactivated then deactivated an online dating profile because she DOESN'T WANT TO DO THIS, I relate to this so much! I think I've decided to try in person speed dating events. 😐 Or, I've at least decided to consider in person speed dating events. Lol. I'm not trying to judge relationship compatibility based on a 0.05 second judgment of some bullshit sales pitch and pics!
Ugh, it is so hard out there. GAH!
Just started listening to the pod but have read about the essentials you’d want to have in hospital. As someone who is currently in hospital (I’m ok.. I think.. just a little scare with a pain in my chest. Tests have ruled out a lot, just one final check and hopefully I’m outa here!!)
My list (not having any of these currently myself) would be; clean underwear, hairband, sweatpants, oversized t-shirt, my glasses 🤣, a book, earphones/headphones, sanitary products, toiletries, toothbrush and a pillow.. I could go on but I’m conscious that this is an essentials list. And thankfully .. don’t ask me why.. the one thing I actually thought to bring with me was a phone charger.
Wish I had my headphones with me to listen to the rest of the pod as I’m not in a single room.
(Not here for the sympathy btw I just thought I’d share my essentials list considering the circumstances) xx
And yet, sympathy you shall get! You poor thing, stuck in the hospital with no headphones. Fingers crossed that last test is all clear & they spring ya soon!
Thank you Caissie! I’m now home! And all my checks and tests have come back all clear! Very thankful for that news.
Can we start an oatmeal thread? Lol What does everyone put on their oatmeal? I like putting fruit, granola or a little bit of brown sugar on it. A couple weeks ago, I put some of those coffee flavoring syrups (caramel) in my oatmeal and it was amazing.
I love this idea! I’m always looking for new ideas too. Mostly I add blackberries or banana.
I make oat milk overnight oats that has some vanilla and maple syrup for flavour but love to add a handful of a trail mix but also love toasted coconut with raspberries.
I make mine w coconut milk, then add walnuts and a spoonful of cocoa nibs! Deeelicious!
Walnuts! Yes. Toasted 🙌🏼
I put chopped walnuts, cinnamon & a little bit of Xylitol. And rocks, obviously.
Shredded coconut and dried cranberries or dried cherries in my oatmeal
If you don't know what Xylitol is, it sounds like you're just adding drugs to your oatmeal.
Like I take Xyzal for my allergies, so at first glance this was very amusing.
Peanut butter!! I love adding a spoonful to really hot oatmeal so it gets all melty. It's the perfect sweet/salty addition and you get some bonus protein!
I'm a big fan of peanut butter AND bananas! Or if I'm out of bananas, I like to add a little jelly with the PB for some sweetness.
I forgot about peanut butter...so good!
I love putting almonds, flax, dried cranberries, and a little dab of agave with my oatmeal! - but I like putting the dried cranberries in before adding the hot water, because then they sort of re-hydrate a little and create a really pleasing texture.
Omg yes oatmeal! I eat it every. morning!! I put an inordinate amount of flax meal in mine. So nutty and delicious!
This description makes me want to eat this with vanilla ice cream. Yum!
I found this "article" with adorable pics of Busy & Michelle at premieres and award shows. So much love between these two. Busy, please tell us which polka dot dress it was that got stained on the red carpet, the halter neck one or the strapless one?
and IMHO that champagne carpet looked like a dirty dorm room carpet and I LOVE MINDY, but yes, three dresses is TOO MANY unless you're nominated for best actress?
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/michelle-williams-busy-phillips-cutest-bff-red-carpet-moments-w459208/
So many good parts on this pod- thank you, ladies!!! Trolley problem, Biz, “you know what I think? I don’t fucking know!” Same girl, same.
Reminded me to make a list of what I need to pack in my hospital bag when I have this baby in Sept.
Moms! Any other things you’d recommend I pack?
Also, we found out today we are having a baby girl!
Congratulations!!! 💞🌸
Congratulations!! Maternity pads were a live saver for me! And plenty of underwear.. trust me!
A sleep mask would come in handy if you’re sensitive to light when you sleep.
And pack yourself some treats, whether it be your favourite snacks or indulging in something you would treat yourself with. Xx
Thank you!!
Congratulations! One thing that was in my hospital bag that helped a lot was a notebook and some pens. That way I could right down any questions I had or write down any tidbit of info I wanted to remember. I was so glad I had it.
Thank you!!
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Another hospital go bag requirement... a device charger with the longest cord available. The plugs are never where you want them to be and normal charging cables are not long enough!!
I’ve been behind on the pod but am almost caught up and had to jump in on the Hospital Go Bag. We call it the HGB - as someone who’s spent too much time in hospitals the last few years I am the go to call for friends (and friends of friends) who unexpectedly get stuck with a long hospital stay. I tell everyone to bring socks and some kind of make up remover wipes that may be terrible for the environment but come in real clutch when you can’t take any kind of showers. And cardigans! Preferably that match your socks! Everyone’s list is a little different but it’s always smart to get ideas. And a root bear - brilliant addition. 🙌
I started a morning oatmeal routine recently as well, Caissie. I just turned 51 and my LDL came in a little high. I eat mostly plant based so WTF?
Did you have covid? Just out of curiosity!
I did. In October 2020. Just did a google search re the connection. Interesting!
As someone who didn’t finish the good place but knew the trolley episode I was all up in the Internet reading about the end of the show. 🥹
Caissie, your comments about deciding when to stop grief (or any life circumstance) take you way … (I hope I’m rephrasing that okay) really hit. Goddamn life is a difficult (trolley) ride sometimes.
All love ❤️
I need to finish this show - I stopped somewhere in the middle.
The Foria Ad- you guys deserve equity in the company.
We really do love FORIA, LOL!
I’m live tweeting. “You gotta get fucked” next to sage advice about not having to do anything on the apps YES, feeling this convo
Dating post-divorce in a jooooouuuurney, especially when decades have gone by since you’ve dated. It’s fine to test the waters and retreat over and over and feel unsure and wonder wtf you’re doing.
I was on dating sites for a year and never talked to anyone. I kept deleting it then reactivating. I finally got to the point where I started talking to people and going on dates. While it was a bit emotionally wild at first, I figured it out. I also had no expectations of finding a life partner, which really helped lessen the stakes and got me to a place where I could just enjoy myself.
That sounds like really good advice to me.
OMG that trolley picture! Serious flashbacks. As I was listening this morning to the concierge doctor conversation I was texting my concierge pediatrician. My son has ongoing, ambiguous, seemingly unrelated symptoms and they are finally getting addressed. It was heart breaking to watch him struggle and feel like there was nowhere I could go where we would be listened to. Switching to this doc has given me hope that my son may finally be able to feel better. Worth every fucking penny that I am privileged to have.
I'm glad your kiddo is getting that care.
I could totally be wrong, but I think Emily bb told her Monte Carlo gall bladder story on We’re No Doctors. That might be why Caissie doesn’t exactly remember the details, and why Busy thinks she told it before!
I think Emily BB just told me the story over dinner, once, LOL!
Well this is just perfect timing 💜
Been thinking about you, Marcella. If you need any of the essentials listed, please let me know!
Thank you Caissie 💓