Better late than never, right? This week, Busy’s talking about shooting “Mean Girls: the Musical” and the behind the scenes double-drama that she was experiencing. Plus, she shares something shocking her BFF Michelle Williams told her that has us both re-evaluating our whole lives. I discuss my theory that going pantsless is probably a genetic trait and about having to find a new pharmacy.
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You can listen here! And, as always, if you have already listened, please consider this post your official episode discussion thread. Or talk about anything you want because it’s Friday and we’re all just doing our best.
I’ve been thinking about a turkey sandwich since I listened to this episode. Ordered jersey mike’s for dinner. Crazy that even after hearing about Busy puking one up, I still wanted that damn sandwich.
My sister-in-law does social marketing for Jersey Mike's so I enthusiastically flagged the episode to her as a great opportunity to look into. She wasn't as enthusiastic as I am about the message that the sandwiches are so good you want another even after vomiting one up (or hearing someone else talk about vomiting it up...). But, I hope it ends up at the very least with some free subs for Busy & Caissie!
To be clear, we were not blaming Jersey Mike's for the vomiting. Busy vomited other things besides Jersey Mike's! I think if I were pitching them on our enthusiasm, I'd pursue the angle of how fun it is to get whatever sandwich you want in size GIANT, then cradle it like a baby for a little while before digging in and hopefully splitting it over 2-3 meals for the week, LOL! Tell your sister-in-law, listeners have already sent us photos of themselves cradling their Jersey Mike's sandwiches & agree that it's a very comforting trend.
No, definitely no blame to Jersey Mike's! I just think it's incredible that it stood the test of throwing it up. But fine that MAY not be an effective sell for any kind of food lol. I'll try the sandwich baby route - so much cuter.
Caissie -- any chance we can get a clip (Josh could make a clip?) of when Busy starts talking about the interesting things from the CDC study to you saying they’re coming for those who are just trying to live? I feel like there are so many places that should and could be shared. Just last week with the teachers at school we had a DEI professional development session and I spoke openly with them about the patriarchy and white supremacy culture -- I honestly feel you and Busy encouraged that in me. It felt vulnerable and I knew it was true. This clip supports that and brings up so much that is an entry point into the conversation.
Your favorite (I hope, haha!) Brené-trained Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator** here to help point people in the right direction following Caissie's suggestion on today's pod!
Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart series can be found on HBO Max.
**If you are a Brené and Dare to Lead book fan, there are about 400 Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitators around the world who you could engage for in-person or virtual facilitation and coaching for you and/or your whole staff. (Many of these are "courage catalysts" which means they can only share the work with non-profits and schools -- so likely very reasonable rates available.) https://daretolead.brenebrown.com/find-a-dare-to-lead-facilitator/
I’m so thankful for this podcast and all of you fabulous friends I haven’t met yet! ❤️ Re Birdie’s medical emergency, when my daughter was about the same age she had a similar episode. Followed by another two weeks later. So scary! In her case, it turns out she suffers from Vasovagal Syncope. Though she’s in her 30s, she’s still a fainter, but has learned her triggers. When it happens now, she feel it coming a few seconds before. Long enough to sit down before she hits the deck. (FYI- the triggers that give me migraines makes her faint. SMH. Genetics.) --On a lighter note, I am a crazy dog lady and have tasted my girls’ food over the years. They take chewable multivitamins that smell like Reese’s, so finally I tried one. OMG. Definitely did NOT taste like a peanut butter cup! But the girls love them. Of course, I’ve seen one eat horse poop, so what do they know?! --You know what IS delicious, though? Bread and pastry from Wildgrain! It’s all that Busy & Caissie say it is. It is kind of expensive, so I move my delivery date to every 8 weeks. --Ok! I better stop. Have a great weekend, everyone! ❤️
Hey Lisa! Ugh, your sweet daughter. Glad she knows her diagnosis. There is still a chance that my son's seizures were due to vasovagal syncope. Neuro thinks 70/30 seizure disorder/VVS. But same deal, he tries to avoid the conditions that were present at the time of all his episodes. For him it's heat and anxiety. Super easy to avoid, LOL! But he also knows to lie down up put his feet up high. So strange how all these conditions mimic each other so much. Glad you love Wildgrain. You need something delicious after trying a DOG VITAMIN, LOL!
I’m so glad that Busy shared Michelle’s wisdom. My bestie did this for me this week too and I always tell her how much she’s the “Michelle” in our dynamic duo! We are around the same age as Busy and I found myself spiraling a bit into the future and what it looks like as well as how much quantifiable “good years” any of us really have left. It got a bit dark, but my friend said just don’t focus on it! She’s right! If we are not alive longer than we are alive isn’t it better to focus on what that means right now presently versus trying to figure out what it will be like when we’re not here? Love to all!
How does the pod get *more perfect* with each week? The stops and starts and emotional journey… Isn’t that US ALL these days. I simply have so much appreciation for what you provide. A space to be seen. Thank you!! ♥️♥️
Caissie, I am one of those lucky people who has Ehler's Danlos Syndrome, frequent hives (usually from MCAS but for me it's a variant of Hereditary Alpha Tryptasemia) and suspected POTS. These three conditions are very often comorbid. Lots of people are getting POTS post-Covid, and there aren't enough knowledgeable doctors to treat them! Thanks for mentioning it on the pod, more awareness will hopefully lead to better treatment.
Ugh, solidarity! I'm having a real EDS moment with my back right now & I'm pretty steamed about it, LOL. Sending love to everyone who is popping up with a new & unexpected symptom or condition. It's scary to feel like your body is attacking you.
My thoughts after today's pod - 1. Definitely test (and re-test!) Birdie for Lyme...I know from personal experience, and one test isn't always enough. 2. Picturing Caissie as a child in a cooler paddling around in her basement is the absolute sweetest...and 3. How does Busy not remember the story of Caissie's Mom "Winnie-the-Pooh-ing" while vacuuming her house ceiling?! Caissie definitely told that story before...her recollections from her childhood are stories to remember!! "Plaster flapjacks" 🤣 Also, kudos to Marc for handling the puke bowl!
This is by far not the most important thing discussed this episode, but I need to hear more about Caissie’s nationally touring children’s drum and bugle corps.
HA! I was in a few different organizations, but the ones I spent the most time in were the Kingsmen Drum & Bugle Corp and Adonis Winter Color Guard, both of Fitchburg, MA. Most of the participants were in their upper teens & early twenties, but I was brought up from the Kingsmen Jr. D&B Corp to fill in for someone who joined the military when I was 8. I had only been doing it for about a year, but I was already 5'2" and I guess was better at marching than people who were younger than 8? Anyway, it was terrifying in many ways I could go on and on about, but also cool to perform and compete in stadiums all over the country. Most people do it until they age out at the end of their 21st year, but I quit when I started high school because I wanted to live a more normal life and have friends my age.
I played the soprano bugle, and I'm proud to say I got up to "first chair" by the time I was 9. I started at second. So, I guess I had a little early aptitude for the instrument. But, being a "first" was hard because the other two firsts were older teenage guys. One was astoundingly talented. But, it just wasn't a super supportive culture and I didn't have the tools to handle being thrown in with them. Luckily, there were two stoner guys, a real life Bill & Ted, one played baritone horn and one was a drummer. They were BFFs & they took me under their wings & like, gave me respect & human dignity, LOL. They were very unlikely mentors but I sure appreciated them. Later when I joined the Winter Guard, I was in the flag line & then I was promoted to flag & sabre. I had to work really hard to get decent at it because I was still really young. And my mom didn't really always believe in allowing me to participate in things that I think she saw as frivolous? Like, she wouldn't let me be in the color guard when I first joined the drum corp because she didn't see the longterm value in learning to twirl a flag? (Forget that it would have been good exercise and taught me teamwork, etc. So I just asked them to put me where they needed someone which was the horn line.) She just thought the twirling girls were show-offy, I think? But, by the time the color guard was formed, she had become good friends with the woman who started it & I think she saw the value in me having something to do in the off season of the drum corp, plus it gave her something to do because she hung out at the practices & did come to many competitions and even chaperoned some road trips when she could. Anyway, we were really good & got to go to a number of national competitions & if you are familiar with that world at all, at that time, in the 1980s & early 90s it was such a haven for young queer people & I was surrounded by people everywhere on the spectrum, in all stages of coming out, who were not only tolerated, but beloved, admired & even idolized, depended upon for their skills. It's also the reason I had what amounted to a front row seat to the AIDS crisis as a child. I saw people I knew and had competed with and been team members with get sick and die by the time I was 12. I think of my friend David and how he went so young and so fast. It was all a lot. A ton of pressure but also lots of fun. Lots of heartache. But I feel really grateful that I got to know a lot about what I know about people from those years.
Caissie, this was my FB post on Wednesday (I don’t use IG). Anyway:
I’m just gonna say it. The fact that we have a day or a month to honor women just shows how patriarchal our society is. How about we start by honoring our half of the population ALL YEAR. How about starting with the freedom to make decisions about our own bodies. Remember: men just let us vote about a hundred years ago. We are far from equal and we don’t need a damn month, we need to restructure our society.
I felt angry and bitter on that day. I ate a lot of Oreos.
Just last month I volunteered at an all-ages drag show where part of my job was handing out free pride flags to anyone who wanted one, and I had SO many kids coming up to ask for a flag, I ran out of them twice. There was also a very small 2-3 year old having the time of their life trying to copy all the dance moves of the performers, it was the most adorable, heartwarming thing. But sure, drag queens are a threat to our children 🙄
Cassie, I was in the car listing and almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard at the pharmacy Yelp review!!!! I am so glad you read it. Worth the wait for the pod!
I frantically looked on Wed to make sure I wasn't missing something. This is the best pod and I secretly dream about meeting you both in person. I'm in Atlanta and maybe I'll see Busy at Houstons one day eating a veggie burger...? A girl can dream! Hugs.
I’ve been thinking about a turkey sandwich since I listened to this episode. Ordered jersey mike’s for dinner. Crazy that even after hearing about Busy puking one up, I still wanted that damn sandwich.
My sister-in-law does social marketing for Jersey Mike's so I enthusiastically flagged the episode to her as a great opportunity to look into. She wasn't as enthusiastic as I am about the message that the sandwiches are so good you want another even after vomiting one up (or hearing someone else talk about vomiting it up...). But, I hope it ends up at the very least with some free subs for Busy & Caissie!
To be clear, we were not blaming Jersey Mike's for the vomiting. Busy vomited other things besides Jersey Mike's! I think if I were pitching them on our enthusiasm, I'd pursue the angle of how fun it is to get whatever sandwich you want in size GIANT, then cradle it like a baby for a little while before digging in and hopefully splitting it over 2-3 meals for the week, LOL! Tell your sister-in-law, listeners have already sent us photos of themselves cradling their Jersey Mike's sandwiches & agree that it's a very comforting trend.
No, definitely no blame to Jersey Mike's! I just think it's incredible that it stood the test of throwing it up. But fine that MAY not be an effective sell for any kind of food lol. I'll try the sandwich baby route - so much cuter.
Like, that's the power of JERSEY MIKE'S!!!
Thanks for this podcast ladies, you really helped me this week. I appreciate you both.
Thank you for spending time with us. We hope that whatever you needed help with is in at least an okay place for now & we are sending you love!
Caissie -- any chance we can get a clip (Josh could make a clip?) of when Busy starts talking about the interesting things from the CDC study to you saying they’re coming for those who are just trying to live? I feel like there are so many places that should and could be shared. Just last week with the teachers at school we had a DEI professional development session and I spoke openly with them about the patriarchy and white supremacy culture -- I honestly feel you and Busy encouraged that in me. It felt vulnerable and I knew it was true. This clip supports that and brings up so much that is an entry point into the conversation.
Your favorite (I hope, haha!) Brené-trained Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitator** here to help point people in the right direction following Caissie's suggestion on today's pod!
Brené Brown's Atlas of the Heart series can be found on HBO Max.
https://www.hbomax.com/series/urn:hbo:series:GYivWaAXEZMLDwwEAAACz
https://brenebrown.com/hbo-max-presents-brene-brown-atlas-of-the-heart/
On Netflix, Brené has a special called The Call to Courage.
https://www.netflix.com/title/81010166
Both are awesome and so valuable!
**If you are a Brené and Dare to Lead book fan, there are about 400 Certified Dare to Lead™ Facilitators around the world who you could engage for in-person or virtual facilitation and coaching for you and/or your whole staff. (Many of these are "courage catalysts" which means they can only share the work with non-profits and schools -- so likely very reasonable rates available.) https://daretolead.brenebrown.com/find-a-dare-to-lead-facilitator/
I’m so thankful for this podcast and all of you fabulous friends I haven’t met yet! ❤️ Re Birdie’s medical emergency, when my daughter was about the same age she had a similar episode. Followed by another two weeks later. So scary! In her case, it turns out she suffers from Vasovagal Syncope. Though she’s in her 30s, she’s still a fainter, but has learned her triggers. When it happens now, she feel it coming a few seconds before. Long enough to sit down before she hits the deck. (FYI- the triggers that give me migraines makes her faint. SMH. Genetics.) --On a lighter note, I am a crazy dog lady and have tasted my girls’ food over the years. They take chewable multivitamins that smell like Reese’s, so finally I tried one. OMG. Definitely did NOT taste like a peanut butter cup! But the girls love them. Of course, I’ve seen one eat horse poop, so what do they know?! --You know what IS delicious, though? Bread and pastry from Wildgrain! It’s all that Busy & Caissie say it is. It is kind of expensive, so I move my delivery date to every 8 weeks. --Ok! I better stop. Have a great weekend, everyone! ❤️
Hey Lisa! Ugh, your sweet daughter. Glad she knows her diagnosis. There is still a chance that my son's seizures were due to vasovagal syncope. Neuro thinks 70/30 seizure disorder/VVS. But same deal, he tries to avoid the conditions that were present at the time of all his episodes. For him it's heat and anxiety. Super easy to avoid, LOL! But he also knows to lie down up put his feet up high. So strange how all these conditions mimic each other so much. Glad you love Wildgrain. You need something delicious after trying a DOG VITAMIN, LOL!
Heat and anxiety?! How does one avoid those? Has he considered becoming a monk? On a mountaintop?
I’m so glad that Busy shared Michelle’s wisdom. My bestie did this for me this week too and I always tell her how much she’s the “Michelle” in our dynamic duo! We are around the same age as Busy and I found myself spiraling a bit into the future and what it looks like as well as how much quantifiable “good years” any of us really have left. It got a bit dark, but my friend said just don’t focus on it! She’s right! If we are not alive longer than we are alive isn’t it better to focus on what that means right now presently versus trying to figure out what it will be like when we’re not here? Love to all!
How does the pod get *more perfect* with each week? The stops and starts and emotional journey… Isn’t that US ALL these days. I simply have so much appreciation for what you provide. A space to be seen. Thank you!! ♥️♥️
Kristen, thank you so much for being with us!
I’ve been dying for a new ep. Worth the wait! 😂I’m dying
Caissie, I am one of those lucky people who has Ehler's Danlos Syndrome, frequent hives (usually from MCAS but for me it's a variant of Hereditary Alpha Tryptasemia) and suspected POTS. These three conditions are very often comorbid. Lots of people are getting POTS post-Covid, and there aren't enough knowledgeable doctors to treat them! Thanks for mentioning it on the pod, more awareness will hopefully lead to better treatment.
Ugh, solidarity! I'm having a real EDS moment with my back right now & I'm pretty steamed about it, LOL. Sending love to everyone who is popping up with a new & unexpected symptom or condition. It's scary to feel like your body is attacking you.
My son was just diagnosed with EDS, am looking into it more.
My thoughts after today's pod - 1. Definitely test (and re-test!) Birdie for Lyme...I know from personal experience, and one test isn't always enough. 2. Picturing Caissie as a child in a cooler paddling around in her basement is the absolute sweetest...and 3. How does Busy not remember the story of Caissie's Mom "Winnie-the-Pooh-ing" while vacuuming her house ceiling?! Caissie definitely told that story before...her recollections from her childhood are stories to remember!! "Plaster flapjacks" 🤣 Also, kudos to Marc for handling the puke bowl!
This is by far not the most important thing discussed this episode, but I need to hear more about Caissie’s nationally touring children’s drum and bugle corps.
HA! I was in a few different organizations, but the ones I spent the most time in were the Kingsmen Drum & Bugle Corp and Adonis Winter Color Guard, both of Fitchburg, MA. Most of the participants were in their upper teens & early twenties, but I was brought up from the Kingsmen Jr. D&B Corp to fill in for someone who joined the military when I was 8. I had only been doing it for about a year, but I was already 5'2" and I guess was better at marching than people who were younger than 8? Anyway, it was terrifying in many ways I could go on and on about, but also cool to perform and compete in stadiums all over the country. Most people do it until they age out at the end of their 21st year, but I quit when I started high school because I wanted to live a more normal life and have friends my age.
Did you drum, bugle, or other?
I played the soprano bugle, and I'm proud to say I got up to "first chair" by the time I was 9. I started at second. So, I guess I had a little early aptitude for the instrument. But, being a "first" was hard because the other two firsts were older teenage guys. One was astoundingly talented. But, it just wasn't a super supportive culture and I didn't have the tools to handle being thrown in with them. Luckily, there were two stoner guys, a real life Bill & Ted, one played baritone horn and one was a drummer. They were BFFs & they took me under their wings & like, gave me respect & human dignity, LOL. They were very unlikely mentors but I sure appreciated them. Later when I joined the Winter Guard, I was in the flag line & then I was promoted to flag & sabre. I had to work really hard to get decent at it because I was still really young. And my mom didn't really always believe in allowing me to participate in things that I think she saw as frivolous? Like, she wouldn't let me be in the color guard when I first joined the drum corp because she didn't see the longterm value in learning to twirl a flag? (Forget that it would have been good exercise and taught me teamwork, etc. So I just asked them to put me where they needed someone which was the horn line.) She just thought the twirling girls were show-offy, I think? But, by the time the color guard was formed, she had become good friends with the woman who started it & I think she saw the value in me having something to do in the off season of the drum corp, plus it gave her something to do because she hung out at the practices & did come to many competitions and even chaperoned some road trips when she could. Anyway, we were really good & got to go to a number of national competitions & if you are familiar with that world at all, at that time, in the 1980s & early 90s it was such a haven for young queer people & I was surrounded by people everywhere on the spectrum, in all stages of coming out, who were not only tolerated, but beloved, admired & even idolized, depended upon for their skills. It's also the reason I had what amounted to a front row seat to the AIDS crisis as a child. I saw people I knew and had competed with and been team members with get sick and die by the time I was 12. I think of my friend David and how he went so young and so fast. It was all a lot. A ton of pressure but also lots of fun. Lots of heartache. But I feel really grateful that I got to know a lot about what I know about people from those years.
Caissie, this is amazing. I love hearing about this. Thank you for sharing.
This is all fascinating and beautiful and I can’t wait to read all about it in your memoir.
Caissie, this was my FB post on Wednesday (I don’t use IG). Anyway:
I’m just gonna say it. The fact that we have a day or a month to honor women just shows how patriarchal our society is. How about we start by honoring our half of the population ALL YEAR. How about starting with the freedom to make decisions about our own bodies. Remember: men just let us vote about a hundred years ago. We are far from equal and we don’t need a damn month, we need to restructure our society.
I felt angry and bitter on that day. I ate a lot of Oreos.
Oreos were probably invented by a dude, but they do help!
Just last month I volunteered at an all-ages drag show where part of my job was handing out free pride flags to anyone who wanted one, and I had SO many kids coming up to ask for a flag, I ran out of them twice. There was also a very small 2-3 year old having the time of their life trying to copy all the dance moves of the performers, it was the most adorable, heartwarming thing. But sure, drag queens are a threat to our children 🙄
Cassie, I was in the car listing and almost had to pull over because I was laughing so hard at the pharmacy Yelp review!!!! I am so glad you read it. Worth the wait for the pod!
Thank you for getting real about international women’s day!!
I frantically looked on Wed to make sure I wasn't missing something. This is the best pod and I secretly dream about meeting you both in person. I'm in Atlanta and maybe I'll see Busy at Houstons one day eating a veggie burger...? A girl can dream! Hugs.
We call it porky pigging it. :)