29 Comments

Love you both so much!!

Just want you to know that I am on year 9 of hot flashes (and cold flashes). I didn't really consider them cold flashes. I just thought of it as my body reacting to the hot flash by trying to cool me down and the result is me being really cold with chills after the hot flash passes. The first 4-5 years I would get about 60-100 a day. It did taper off and now it's only 2-10 a day. It sucks but you deal with it the best you can!! I got one of those sore muscle wraps that are filled with beans or beads that you can microwave or put in the freezer. I keep it in the freezer all of the time. When I get a hot flash I drink ice water and put that around my neck. Then I just deal with the cold flash afterwards. Sorry you are dealing with this. You just don't understand until it happens to you!!

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It wasn’t until I was in my late 30’s and divorced that I felt like I had a home. It was a rental and it felt like the first place I could call home. I wanted to keep it so bad when I moved in with my boyfriend a few years later, I still miss it. As a kid I never stayed in one town for more than a few years, and I am introverted and was very shy (I was also always misgendered the first day of school because of everyone’s inability to read my name correctly) so it was always such a struggle. I had very little emotional support from my parents, or any adult for that matter. When I went to college, I realized that all my friends had homes to go to and I never had anything close to that. I couldn’t even answer the question “where are you from?” Home can be where your family is, but if your family is nothing more than a label attached to a group of people that live under the same roof, it’s hard to not form attachments to a physical place.

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I use Marcella’s cards every week just to give me an idea of where things could be going or to spark up an idea of what to focus on. Sometimes I feel like the cards are to broad to all happen in a week so I photograph them and keep them to my

Notes so I have a review of what came up in the past weeks.

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Loved the ep, as always. I have something to share and please take it in the positive spirit it is intended. I really like that Busy doesn’t tell us about her life - healthy for us, healthy for her. But for those of us who listen to every episode all episode, it was hard to hear “keep up!” when we didn’t know the full story of the move. We didn’t, and we had been keeping up. That was the boundary. It felt a little dismissive of listeners. Still my favorite podcast! Thanks for providing space to talk.

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This was a good conversation to listen in on, as I have become more personally engaged in Tarot recently, and had to laugh when Marcella said she got into it for selfish reasons, bc that's exactly why I did it the first time around about 20 years ago. I've always had a "sixth sense" and yet I find it a lot harder than I could imagine. I consult with tiktok tarot a bit, too, and find there are some I find reliable.

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I have so deeply related to Busy’s remarks about feeling like the more committed friend. Post-pandemic I feel like the majority of my social outings (like 85% of them) have been because I’ve reached out to someone about getting together. And let me tell you, it’s exhausting. Talking myself through the “we are all going through tough times” and the “it’s nothing personal” can really zap my energy. I can usually get over those hurdles by reminding myself I’d rather ask then sit and home and get caught up in negative thoughts because my friends will almost always agree to meet up once I do reach out. It’s TOUGH to keep it going, but I’m finding it still meaningful to do the work to stay connected.

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Sometimes a dose of estradiol works wonders.

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

I am on the other side of menopause now. I didn’t have horrible symptoms but looking back I did have chills. I just didn’t know the cause. I was always dressed in layers so I could add and take off as needed.

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

I have a BedJet - just the fan portion, not the accompanying sheet. I got it a couple months ago. Yes it’s spendy, but my menopause caused me to have constant hot feet. The BedJet helps. And it has a heat setting too, so you can warm up as needed. Oh and my husband has nerve damage around his ankles so he can’t deal with having cold feet - I got us a velveteen 30” sham for between us in bed so that he doesn’t feel any of the cold coming at him. It works for us.

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

Ladies, there is relief for the hot flashes and temperature disregulation of perimenopause. HRT is available and safe and can significantly reduce these symptoms. Please don’t suffer needlessly! Find a gynecologist who will listen to you and is knowledgeable about risk factors.

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My son got mad at me for making him go to camp even though he is the one who asked to go 🙄

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

Thanks to this pod, I finally listened to my body and am getting my chronic sinus issues investigated! I’ve tolerated the discomfort for over a year but it took bronchitis a couple of months ago to even bring them up to my doctor. I got an ENT referral but they couldn’t schedule me until September (?!) so I had the confidence to pressure the scheduling lady into getting me in earlier. Got a CT scan yesterday and the depths of my sinuses are severely blocked (even though it actually doesn’t feel that bad right now - I wonder how much pain I’m actually tolerating!!) Anyway, I probably wouldn’t have pursued any of this if it wasn’t for all of the podcast talk about getting things checked out ❤️

Also, in relation to this week’s pod, I almost deleted this post several times because I am that person who over analyzes what I post/text - who would care about what I have to say? Ugh I hate it...

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I work🙏 it sir🙏

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

Ok, I've been inexplicably freezing at night! I literally asked my partner if they had turned down the air at night. My bedding and pajamas haven't changed since last summer. Thank you, Caissie, for bringing up cold flashes. I've never heard of it either!

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

I feel like this week has been only moments of my 10 year old being mad at me. Had to go out to my car at one point and watch cute videos of him as a toddler to not lose it.

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Jun 8, 2023Liked by Caissie St.Onge

Hi, Caissie, this is more relevant to previous pods, but have you read "Can't We Talk About Something More Pleasant" by Roz Chast.? Very on point (and hilarious and terrible) re: packing up your parents' home. Been there, done that, this book is very spot on. xxx

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