Can we talk about how great Lane’s first book, How to Be Alone, is? I just finished the audiobook and I loved it so much. Funny, heartbreaking, and crushingly relatable. And she sings! Now I’m even more excited for her new book.
I haven’t finished this yet, but I’m really enjoying it so far! And coincidentally, this week I was really missing the podcast. So I tried to find an episode I hadn’t listed to yet. Oddly enough, I had never listened to the “experiment” episode! Busy was talking about making new friends in that episode. Also, I died laughing about the hair bump thing. I forget what Caissie called it and when I just tried to Google it I just got a bunch of ingrown hair bump nonsense.
So good. My favorite line "A god friend doesn't punish you for something you didn't know that you did wrong". Brilliant! Going to listen to Lane's audio book.
I don’t relate to people my age, usually. They have kids and careers and families and stuff. I’m Gen X in age but millennial in like, where I’m at in life? Although that’s going to age out soon too. A younger acquaintance and I were trying to take our friendship deeper but then she got a boyfriend and it just makes it that much harder.
That is really hard. I bet there are so many people who have similar life circumstances to yours, but it can be tough to find them & connect. I did just post a Group Chat mixer thread today! Maybe there will be a few folks in there you'd be interested in getting to know?
This was a phenomenal conversation! So relatable. I feel less alone in navigating… well… friendship… and all of life. Each convo with you Caissie, is a gift!
So relatable! Both this discussion and all the comments here. I’d love to get in on the group chat thing. Anyone in Sacramento or surrounding areas? Here’s to all of us finding our people!
Thanks for sharing this! So much of it was relatable for me as someone who is single and all of my closest friends and family live in other cities. Since I don't get a lot of opportunities to spend time with them in-person, I've come to find a lot of joy in the little micro-friendships that come along with things like volunteering, where you're partnered with a stranger who becomes your temporary BFF during the hours you're paired together, or being a regular at the same store or restaurant where you get to know the staff and they'll greet you by name. It may not be that deep, personal friendship TV shows made us all aspire to have, but between that and the strong, long-distance friendships I do have, it's enough for me to feel content :)
I love that you are valuing the smaller relationships you have in your community. I think a lot of us don't really consider how much those bring to our lives!
Can't wait to watch this! I already pre-ordered her book, because this whole topic is something that's been weighing on me in life recently! I'm in this new phase of life, and although I've lived in my city for almost 7 years now, I feel like I'm finally at a point where I'm ready to find "my people". When I moved here, I made work my whole life and only really socialized with people from work. When I left that job last June I quickly realized that all of those people who I worked with and thought I was really close to, actually weren't that close at all. Now I'm in this city that I've lived in for 7 years with nobody but my mom and husband, and am struggling to put myself out there to meet people.
Thank you! I also want to add that one thing that's been helpful for me has been taking the leap to join Bumble BFF. I was a little skeptical at first, because I really only knew of Bumble as a dating app. But it's been a great way to meet and chat with people before deciding to go hangout. I've been on a few Bumble BFF "dates" now with a couple of different women who are in similar phases as me and can relate to where I am in life. It's been really great, and honestly just seeing that there are SO many people out there who struggle with putting themselves out there and are craving connection has made me feel so much less alone. There's hope for all of us! :)
This conversation just cements how sad I am that I don't have a strong friend group in adulthood and how depressed and lost I am over friendship and trying to find some/connect mid-life.
Lauren, I don't think you are alone in feeling this way at all. I wonder too, if there is something about Gen X that left us struggling in the establishing relationships department, because I have heard so many people around our age saying similar things.
Hi Caissie! Oh I miss that we could have signed up for this live conversation, so awesome that you did this! No, I have not really found my people, yet. I 100% relate to Lane on not feeling like “I did it the right way” being able to pick or attract good friends in the high school years. I did not good have friends let alone with deep connections. A few of the were toxic, took me over a decade to realize and end the friendships. I regret not signing up for the text groups you set up at the beginning of the pandemic. Thank you for have Lane on the Substack, SO relatable! Looking up the books now📚
Can we talk about how great Lane’s first book, How to Be Alone, is? I just finished the audiobook and I loved it so much. Funny, heartbreaking, and crushingly relatable. And she sings! Now I’m even more excited for her new book.
I really enjoyed this conversation Caissie. Thank you!
Wow, what great timing for this! I really needed to hear so much of this (and based on some of these comments, I am in great company.)
I pre-ordered the book, too. Can't wait to read it. Maybe next book club? (or maybe some of us can do our own!)
Also, our people are all right here!! ❤️
I haven’t finished this yet, but I’m really enjoying it so far! And coincidentally, this week I was really missing the podcast. So I tried to find an episode I hadn’t listed to yet. Oddly enough, I had never listened to the “experiment” episode! Busy was talking about making new friends in that episode. Also, I died laughing about the hair bump thing. I forget what Caissie called it and when I just tried to Google it I just got a bunch of ingrown hair bump nonsense.
So good. My favorite line "A god friend doesn't punish you for something you didn't know that you did wrong". Brilliant! Going to listen to Lane's audio book.
I don’t relate to people my age, usually. They have kids and careers and families and stuff. I’m Gen X in age but millennial in like, where I’m at in life? Although that’s going to age out soon too. A younger acquaintance and I were trying to take our friendship deeper but then she got a boyfriend and it just makes it that much harder.
That is really hard. I bet there are so many people who have similar life circumstances to yours, but it can be tough to find them & connect. I did just post a Group Chat mixer thread today! Maybe there will be a few folks in there you'd be interested in getting to know?
ooh yeah! I've been busy all day, I didn't even see!
Also still running around. but yeah
This was a phenomenal conversation! So relatable. I feel less alone in navigating… well… friendship… and all of life. Each convo with you Caissie, is a gift!
Kristen, that is really kind and I really appreciate it!
So relatable! Both this discussion and all the comments here. I’d love to get in on the group chat thing. Anyone in Sacramento or surrounding areas? Here’s to all of us finding our people!
Thanks for sharing this! So much of it was relatable for me as someone who is single and all of my closest friends and family live in other cities. Since I don't get a lot of opportunities to spend time with them in-person, I've come to find a lot of joy in the little micro-friendships that come along with things like volunteering, where you're partnered with a stranger who becomes your temporary BFF during the hours you're paired together, or being a regular at the same store or restaurant where you get to know the staff and they'll greet you by name. It may not be that deep, personal friendship TV shows made us all aspire to have, but between that and the strong, long-distance friendships I do have, it's enough for me to feel content :)
Also, a big YES to 'your work friends are not always your real friends'!!! I definitely learned that one the hard way!
I love that you are valuing the smaller relationships you have in your community. I think a lot of us don't really consider how much those bring to our lives!
Can't wait to watch this! I already pre-ordered her book, because this whole topic is something that's been weighing on me in life recently! I'm in this new phase of life, and although I've lived in my city for almost 7 years now, I feel like I'm finally at a point where I'm ready to find "my people". When I moved here, I made work my whole life and only really socialized with people from work. When I left that job last June I quickly realized that all of those people who I worked with and thought I was really close to, actually weren't that close at all. Now I'm in this city that I've lived in for 7 years with nobody but my mom and husband, and am struggling to put myself out there to meet people.
Hannah, I identify so strongly with so much you have said. Wishing you luck in your new phase!
Thank you! I also want to add that one thing that's been helpful for me has been taking the leap to join Bumble BFF. I was a little skeptical at first, because I really only knew of Bumble as a dating app. But it's been a great way to meet and chat with people before deciding to go hangout. I've been on a few Bumble BFF "dates" now with a couple of different women who are in similar phases as me and can relate to where I am in life. It's been really great, and honestly just seeing that there are SO many people out there who struggle with putting themselves out there and are craving connection has made me feel so much less alone. There's hope for all of us! :)
This conversation just cements how sad I am that I don't have a strong friend group in adulthood and how depressed and lost I am over friendship and trying to find some/connect mid-life.
Lauren, I don't think you are alone in feeling this way at all. I wonder too, if there is something about Gen X that left us struggling in the establishing relationships department, because I have heard so many people around our age saying similar things.
Hi Caissie! Oh I miss that we could have signed up for this live conversation, so awesome that you did this! No, I have not really found my people, yet. I 100% relate to Lane on not feeling like “I did it the right way” being able to pick or attract good friends in the high school years. I did not good have friends let alone with deep connections. A few of the were toxic, took me over a decade to realize and end the friendships. I regret not signing up for the text groups you set up at the beginning of the pandemic. Thank you for have Lane on the Substack, SO relatable! Looking up the books now📚
Maybe we can do another round of matching up group chats, Stephanie!
Maybe you can put us into groups with people who live in the same state/city. I’m in LA!
That would be great!!!
Thank you for doing this, Caissie.
Sorry I missed it live.
It was a great conversation.
Thanks for watching, Nadene! Hope you are having a good day. xoxo
This was so great! Preordered the audiobook!
Thanks so much for watching, Chris! Hope your week is going well.